either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
