At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize