i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
