it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All the doctor said was why
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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