69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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