nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
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