our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
