its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
