Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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