ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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