I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the liver wants what the liver wants
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
