so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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