oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
