You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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