Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
