I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
