I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
