final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
