you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
