Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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