and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
