yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
