i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
