At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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