i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
