Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
