Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
