Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
