I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
