so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the day after is always just damage control
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
