ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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