i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
