3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
