i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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