I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
