bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
the liver wants what the liver wants
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
