these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
