it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
