HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
