For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
