Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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