Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
