thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
