Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
