Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
