he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
