I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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