We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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