$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
