I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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