I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
