when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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