i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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