11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
wat bout pragnant strippers??
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
