Cold hands, warm shart.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
