just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
