I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
