of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
