I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize