Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
