cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i will never coherently bang her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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