is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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