if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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