"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
