Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
